Yes. Really. I’m sick. My throat hurts and I do not like it! I want to work out not sit at home being sick. BAH!

I found a pretty funny text today that I find very true ;). I will forward this to you my readers! And with this I must apologize for my absence. But you know how I am. When stuff get going my blogging goes down in frequency :(. But enough of this! HERE! TEXT!

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MYFAVOURITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture…Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this On their bed.

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.

DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Very interesting topics I’ve been producing lately. And the number of posts! woh, I think I must take a break from all the posting! Oh wait.

A bit low today, been thinking about life and what is happening around me and I’m like “MEH”. Do you ever feel that your life is moving in slow motion but everything else is sped up.

Wrote something the other day and I’m not sure. Cliché might be the word I’m looking for.

It’s been a up and down day. It will soon end in bed. Yay!

This thursday was a bit hectic, at least in the morning.

I was preparing to go to work. The bus leaves at 06.10. The time was 05.55 and I couldn’t find my wallet. I looked EVERYWHERE. Then I realized that I put my wallet in my brothers car the day before. So my wallet with all my money and my bus card was in there aswell. In other words, if I could not get my wallet I could not get to work. So I did what any decent person would do to his brother… I called him, at 05.57. No answer! CHOCKER!..

So I took the more awesome way of doing things… Found an extra key to my brothers house and jumped on my bike. And let me tell you. That bike has NEVER gone that fast. I was like lightning! If anyone saw me they actually did not! They just saw a daze, a blurr!

I got there, sneaked in to the house found the car keys and got my wallet from the car. I sneaked back in and put the keys back, locked the door and got on my bike again, with the same speed as before I got home and ran out to the bus stop. The time was 06.07.

Then I got a phone call from my brothers wife. She asked if I just was in their house and I explained it all. Apparently she tried to convince my brother that someone was in the house but he did not really believe it ;). But then she saw that I had called my brothers cell and understood that it was me.

Pretty good though! Break in to a house before going to work. =)